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Motives of a Naysayer

3 reasons why people criticise your career goals and how to overcome them

 

I have seen this more than once and have even been victim to it myself…coming face to face with a naysayer.

Naysayer
Noun
‘a person who criticises, objects and says it cannot be done. Someone who is sceptical of your abilities or possibilities of success’.

 

There is always someone out there who is a naysayer and will tell you how you are wrong, unable, and incapable or should not follow your career goals and dreams. Sadly, it could be a close family member or friend who give you this negative criticism and lack of support.

It can be very hurtful, demotivating and crushing to have someone show little support or enthusiasm for your passions and career goals. Especially if this person is someone in your immediate circle. It could even get you to start questioning if it is worth pursuing your goals. It may make you questions “what if they are indeed right?”. So is a naysayer correct, are they just protecting you from failure and future heartache or is there a deeper motive behind it?

There are three things to consider when figuring out the motives behind a naysayer:

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Projecting

Often, people project onto others. They have their own experiences and feelings and push that upon other people who they believe would experience and feel the same.

For example, if you took an art class and loathed it. It was boring and you were not able to master any technique and therefor your work was looking like something a three year old would create. You may then project onto others by telling them art class is a waste of time and they should not consider pursuing it. But because you had a negative experience, does not mean they would too. However, from your experience, you will advise others against it even if they have a real interest in it.

If you do feel someone is projecting onto you, it is best to find out about their experience, learn from their past and try not to follow in their footsteps. For instance, you want to start an online business, but your uncle who had an online business failed, and tells you it’s a horrible idea and you should not invest any energy into it. Find out where your uncle believes it all went wrong for him. Do your own research and take your time to work out how to overcome those obstacles. His failures should not have to be yours.

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Fear

Just because you are told it is not a good idea by a naysayer, it does not necessarily mean that this person thinks you are incapable or wants to see you unhappy. Often, it is the opposite. They worry for you and rather see you in a safe, stable situation then go out of your comfort zone to potentially face a long hard fall. But your comfort zone does not always bring about happiness and fulfilment in life. It is a fact that people who do not follow their dreams, passions and heart are less satisfied and feel unrewarded in their daily living.

So, understand the fear others may face for you and the fears you may face for yourself going towards big goals as natural, but should not stop you. Instead, take the time to research, plan and prepare for all that is required to make the right career changes and be able to reach your goals.

Envy

This is sadly common. Most people are jealous of others’ success and others’ abilities to go after their dreams. It is not an easy feat to see your dreams come to life and many individuals hold back due to fear or larger obstacles in their way. So, these people will do and say anything to try and get you to stay in their zone. If you grow and flourish, it will only make them feel worse about themselves.

Our advice; follow your dreams.

Focus on you! Do not worry about other people’s insecurities. It is their own personal issues they need to overcome and resolve, not yours. You should not limit your growth to sooth other people’s egos.

Overall, it is not easy to block out negative feedback when you are dealing with your personal, close to heart goals and dreams. Especially when you are so excited and hopeful, it hurts when someone comes along and tries to crush it.

What you should do first when you come across a naysayer is to listen; try to understand why they are naysaying. Is it projecting, envy or do they have a point? This is where you need to do further research and find out for yourself if your career goals are logical, make sense and indeed achievable. If they are right, you can alter your goals so that they are logical and still fit in with your vision.

If the person who puts you down is clearly envious or clueless about you and your abilities, you should choose to ignore their words. If people think you cannot do it, that is their thoughts and thoughts are not facts!

Happy Job Hunting,

My Career Angels

“Fear of what other people will think is the single most paralyzing dynamic in business and in life. The best moment of my life was the day I realized that I no longer give a damn what anybody thinks. That’s enormously liberating and freeing, and it’s the only way to live your life and do your business”

— Cindy Gallop